Conversations with the Elders
What Do You Truly Want
October 31, 2011
“Every client will bring your issue to the coaching session.” I still hear those words echoing in my head. One of my Spiritual Life Coaching teachers shared this to the class. I did not believe it, at first. There are times where I simply choose to forget it. “They are a mirror of you,” the echo continued.
Now that particular pill gets easier to swallow with time. However, the larger pill is when there are several conversations with client or friend that bring forth the same issue. And the conversations span over a short span of time. That is when it is time to stop, sit and listen. In recent weeks, I have had three maybe five conversations, where they all culminated to one question, “what do you want in life, out of life, with your life…what do you want?” Each conversation was a conversation with my mirror, with myself.
There are two specific visions that clearly come to mind when I ask myself or am asked, “What is the vision for your life?” In the first vision, I am standing on top of a large sand dune with a lynx. The lynx guides me down into the valley, where many people are apparently building something. As we get closer, I realize that they are not building, but rather unearthing buildings, or possibly a village. Their work gives rise to a spiritual community. The lynx confirms, silently.
The second vision shows me walking through two very large, ornate doors into a sanctuary. I am guided to the pulpit. As I stand facing out into the sanctuary, there are several objects on the pulpit. To my left, there is a vessel of water. Directly in front of me are several sacred texts, all in one stack; the Holy Bible is on top and the Book of Heart is on the bottom. The Book of Heart supports all of the others. And to my right are two drums; one is a Native American style hoop drum, and the other is an African djembe. I see both of visions vividly, and hold both in my heart.
Both bring a smile to my face (most of the time) and a smile to my heart. I do enjoy doing and bringing those visions into being. However, I realize that I am not happy, nor am I unhappy. From this, I ask the question, “Can someone enjoy doing, becoming and being who they are in the world and still not be completely happy? Is this possible?” When I wrote this question in my journal, I heard the Elders say, “You are not asking for what you want.”
I know it is time to delve into the energy of this situation; get to the heart of the matter. It is time to sit down, intently, in sacred silence, to receive guidance and healing as I move through this. I choose to sit in sacred silence in the presence of the Elders.
Tonight, I journey to the Elders cabin. I arrive and immediately sense the energy emanating from the cabin. I always feel welcome; however, this evening my spidey-senses are ringing the words, “warmth, comforting, and sacredness.” They have created a sacred space, a ceremonial space for me to receive guidance, clarity, support and whatever I need. I am grateful to the Elders of being there, being here for me.
I walk into the cabin, and am greeted by the Elder of Water, the Elder of Earth, Grandfather, the Elder of Fire, my Teacher, and the Elder of Air. They are standing around the fireplace. I notice the couches have been removed, and replaced with large pillows. “Just for this evening,” the Elder of Fire responds to my observation.
There are seven pillows on the floor. Six of them are placed in a semicircle in front of the fireplace. There is one pillow in the middle, and is close to the fire. I know it is for me.
The Elder of Fire guides me to my pillow. I remove my shoes, inter the circle and sit on the pillow. The Elders and others join me on the other pillows. The Elders and the others begin humming very quietly; it is sacred music for the occasion. The ceremony begins.
I gaze into the fire watching, listening, sensing, feeling…and being. The fire dances and sings. I continue watching and listening, sensing and feeling, and breathing. Although I do not know what is about to happen, I wait for what is going to happen. And it does. As I watch, listen, sense and feel I begin to drift away from my pillow, towards the fire and into the fire. The fire is a gateway into another realm.
In this realm, all I see is light, all I feel is a tingle, and all I hear is silence. Although I do not know what is about to happen, I wait for what is going to happen. And it does. I hear, yet not with my ears, “What do you want? You seem to want something. Do you know what it is?”
I reply without hesitation, “I want the tea from heaven that will quench my thirst. I have tried the other teas, and still I thirst. Some taste sweet, others are bitter; yet, none have quenched my thirst. There must be a tea from heaven that will refresh and bring comfort to the dry taste of yearning in my mouth. I know this is not specific; yet, it is what I want. It is the sweet nectar that my heart knows exists. It is not a specific thing that comes from the earth plane, but its essence brings a smile to the deepest and far reaches of my heart.” I stop and breathe deeply.
I open my mouth and blurted, “I want to feel welcomed in my own heart.” As the words flowed out, a wave of energy flowed through me. I wonder, “What did I mean by that?” Even if my mind does not fully understand, my body and spirit seem to know. Then I feel two arms reach out to me, draw me inward and hug me. It’s like when grandmother hugs you. Although you don’t quiet know what is happening in your life; grandmother’s hug brings assurance, peace, comfort or whatever the soul needs in that moment.
In that moment, all of the many answers to the question of what do I want merge into the one answer: I want to feel welcomed in my own heart. I hear my mind still trying to make sense of those words. And I know my heart knows. The heart knows.
Again I hear, yet not with my ears, “The words spoken will guide you. The heart knows, it always knows. Let peace be your companion. Let love be your nourishment. Let light be your guide. And know that I am that peace, love and light. And remember, the heart knows.”
Returning back to sitting on the pillow in front of the fire, I continue watching, listening, feeling and sensing. I feel hands on my back. They are the hands of the Elders and the others. They are hands of support, hands of comfort, hands of assurance, and hands of love. Warm tears gentle flow down my face.
The Elder of Water breaks the silence, “Let peace by your companion. Let love be your nourishment. Let light be your guide.” More tears start flowing down my face. The only thing for me to do is sit in the experience, and be with the experience.
I sit in sacred silence in the presence of the Elder of Water, the Elder of Fire, the Elder of Earth, the Elder of Air, Grandfather and my Teacher as I feel the words, “I want to feel welcomed in my own heart.”
Copyright © 2011 Anthony L. Farmer All Rights Reserved
Conversations with the Elders is a weekly “e-newsletter" that shares my experiences and conversations with the Elders, as I call them. We meet on the front porch of a log cabin high in the mountains. They share their wisdoms, life experiences, perspectives, stories, and love. I listen, learn and share.
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"...listening to our elders is one of the most important things we can do. I've learned a lot and have had good teachers. You always learn a lot from your elders - its important to sit and listen to them."
Herman “TJ” Laffoon
Reverend Anthony Farmer
www.revanthonyfarmer.com
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