The Gift

The Gift

While in meditation this morning, I heard, “Write the story of the gift.”  This was the guidance I received for the day.  So, I wrote the story.

Sunday morning.  Our spiritual life center offers services every Sunday, now.  This morning, I was preparing for service.  My preparation consisted of thinking about the sermon or sacred message and making sure I had what was needed for the altar.  Also, I questioned if I had enough bulletins and newsletters, and wondered if folks were coming today.  Even though I was not giving the sermon today, as the senior minister the program is still my responsibility.  Feeling the pressure, hearing the mental chatter and beginning to mimic the antics of a jabbering fool, I decided I needed to go for a walk.

I left the house and walked one block down the street to the nature center.  To prepare my legs for walking, I stretched my legs, the hamstrings and the quadriceps muscles.  Several weeks ago, my massage therapist said my left quad and right hamstring muscles were tight.  Or maybe he said my right quad and my left hamstring muscles were tight.  Or was it… Oh, no, the mental chatter and jabbering came with me.  It was time to walk.

I walked along the trail behind the county pool that was closed for the season.  I thought that walking would quiet the mental chatter, but it did not.  I was having a conversation with Spirit about everything “the church, the spiritual community, the book, the school, the students, the need for a coach/mentor/therapist, and the pressures of being what I understood Spirit wants me to be.”  As I continued the mental chatter while walking, I came upon money on the trail.  There was a rolled up dollar bill right in the middle of my path.  I reached down, picked it up, placed it in my pocket and kept walking.

Now my mental chatter switched to questions of “where did the money come from, who lost it, and what was the meaning of finding i?”  But I could not here any reply because of the jabbering.  I kept walking.

In between the runaway train of thoughts, I noticed the birds and squirrels, people walking their dogs and two guys practicing capoeira on the tennis courts. By then, I had completed my first lap.

Somewhere during the second lap, either I realized that there was no point in the mental chattering or my left brain exhausted itself.  For whatever the reason, I was quiet.

Then the thought of finding the dollar bill on the path floated back into my mind.  I sensed that it was a gift.  I said thank you, just in case I didn’t say it earlier.  As I took the next step, I heard a voice that was neither masculine nor feminine; neither loud nor soft; and neither forceful nor gentle.  The voice was like, well, a presence. 

The essence of what I heard was, “I gave you a gift.  I gave you your gift.  I gave you the gift of you.  Give the gift of you to the world.  Be the best you in every moment.  This is all I ask of you.”

When the presence was complete, I felt a wave of energy, light, love, or something flow through my body.  Hearing truth has that effect on me.  After the energy surge, I felt at peace.

I continued walking.

On the third lap, I received a penny.  My gift total was now at $1.01.  I completed my third lap and headed home.  My walk was complete, but not my gift total.  Later that morning on my way to purchase ceremonial white roses, I received a dime.  This brought by gift total to $1.11.  I resisted the urge to derive any meaning, and just acknowledged the gift with a “thank you.”

Today, I learned, or was reminded that, it is not for me to be perfect, but to be the best me in the moment.  And that in itself is perfect.

I cannot wait for my next walk.

Copyright © 2011 Anthony L. Farmer All Rights Reserved