Being Open to Receive a Message from Pops

Being Open to Receive a Message from Pops

Remember, be mindful of what you ask for; and, make sure you are open to receive it.  This is one of the lessons from my experiences of the weekend. 

 

Before I knew what was happening, I was sliding down an emotional spiral heading into the dark depths.  Either someone said something that I did not like, I missed interpreted something said, or an action by another lead to a flashback in my mind.  Whatever it was, my reaction to it was a ride on the most dangerous ride outside of an amusement park, the emotional spiral heading down. 

While spinning, I thought about seeking some professional help.  I wondered, “Who could I call for support.”  I decided to try and handle it myself.  I tried comfort food (the good food lift lasted for two hours) and a workout at the gym (the endorphin high was about three hours long).  The old ways did not work this time.  I decided to try something new.  I reached out to colleagues, my ministerial support group.

 

This was new behavior.  Normally I am one who tries to be there for others, supporting them through some tough time.  However, I was the one to open up and share with others; I was the one being vulnerable.  I shared with my colleagues that I was going through a tough emotional time.  This action, being vulnerable with friends, set in motion a series of events that lead to awareness, shifting, and healing.

The Destiny Cards

The first event occurred the morning after sharing with my friends.  As part of my morning ritual, I select a card from my deck of destiny cards for inspiration.  On that day, I chose the card representing “clarity.”  The commentary for this card read, “You will experience a detoxification process of releasing old emotional issues from the cells, experience a more clear and exact thought process, and experience a deeper sense of renewal.”  I sensed this was part of an explanation of my emotional spiral ride.   It provided a different perspective of things.  Maybe I was not spirally down, but experiencing old emotionally issues rising up.

The Wisdom of the Flicker

The same day I drew the “clarity” card, I noticed a bird in the backyard.  This bird was different than the usual cast of characters in or around the bird feeder.  The next day he was back.  With my trusty bird book, I identified the bird as a Flicker, a type of woodpecker.  Reviewing my bird book and animal wisdom references, I learned that the color pattern of the Flicker is important.  What resonated strongest in the research was the patch of black feathers located on the bird’s chest.  It symbolizes the moon and is located on the center of its chest, over the heart.  I made mental notes: the color of the feather patch is black (feminine energy), is in the shape of a moon (feminine energy), and is located over the heart chakra (the secret chamber of the emotions).  I concluded that this meant, “emotional healing of the heart chakra.”  Additional commentary said that when the Flicker appears “you may experience new sensitivities around emotions.”  This was the second piece of the puzzle.

Bones

While having tea at a local tea shop, I was writing in my journal.  I wrote, “What are my dreams?  Is there something my heart longs for, a desire that I have buried deep in my heart, so deep that I have disconnected from it?  Do I have a dream in my heart?”

After the opening myself to my colleagues, selecting the clarity card, receiving the open hearted wisdom of the Flicker, and questioning myself of suppressed and unrealized dreams, I was ready.  At the time, I did know realize I was ready, or ready for what?  

I was watching the television show Bones on TNT.  This particular episode dealt with Booth, the lead male character, choosing to open his home and care for his grandfather, whom he called Pops.  Pops raised and took care of Booth when he was young; and, Booth felt it was time to repay the favor.  However, everyone realized that it was best for Pops and Booth if Pops returned to the senior home.  

At the end of the episode, Pops and Booth stood in front of the senior home.  Pops shared that this was the best decision and that he knew Booth loved him.  Then Pops placed his hand on Booth’s heart and said, “Remember, it is all in there.  Just follow your heart and you will never go wrong.”  [I paraphrased a bit.] 

I watched this scene standing less than five feet from the television.  I was almost there.  And that was the final straw.  It was the match thrown on a gasoline soaked pile of flammable material.  The explosion was eminent.   I turned from the television with tears in my eyes and a scream in my throat.  I burst into “all my life… I wanted to hear those words and feel those words… and to hear them on television.  God this is not fair.  All I ask for, all I want is to hear…”  I could not take it anymore.  Hearing those words spoken by Pops with his hand on Booth’s heart was too much; I cried.

I call my biological father, “pop.”  And I called my grandfather’s, “Pop Willie” and “Pop Roy.”  So “Pop” is my name that represents “the energy and essence of the masculine elder in my life.”  My heart has longed to feel those words spoken with the same elegency and authenticity and love that I witnessed between Pops and Booth.

After my breakdown came the breakthrough.  I realized, either a later that evening or possible the next day, that I just experienced “Pop elegantly and authentically and lovingly say to me with hand over my heart that everything I need is in my heart and all I need to remember to do is follow my heart.”  On one level, I was watching a television show.  However, on another level, a level of higher vibration, a level beyond time and space, a level where truth and love exists beyond the physical…I felt Pops’ hand on my heart and heard the words he spoke.  And most importantly, I received them the words.  My heart was open to the point where I could feel and did receive what I longed.   

The masculine elder spoke to me and I heard it, he touched me and I felt it, he connected with me and me with him.  One of the lessons from my experience:  To be mindful of what I ask for, and to be open, willing and ready to receive it.  It may not come as I want it or expect it, but it will come just as the Universe divinely provides.  Just be ready.

Copyright © 2011 Anthony L. Farmer All Rights Reserved